If you're like us, you judge an agency is not by the quality of their work, but by the quantity of words they use to describe their work. Which is why we take special delight in this novella-length Mystery Mission Statement:
---- is fuel for marketing. What does that mean, exactly? (well, to be exactly exact it doesn't mean anything, but allow us, if you will, a little poetic license... not to be confused with Poetic Justice, that bygone ad boutique of the 90s) For the past 5 years through the use of print, television, online and viral initiatives, ---- has launched hundreds of mini-brands. (discreet enough to wear every day, mini-brands are ideal for those light flow days.) These mini-brands are movies, video games and consumer products targeted at the 18-35 year old consumer. (or any one else in a state of arrested adolescence with an extra $50 or $60 to spend)
Our philosophy and work ethic is based on a bare-knuckle, blue-collar, approach to an industry that is very guilty of taking itself way too seriously. (much the same way we poncy art majors take ourselves way too seriously by butching things up with phrases like “bare knuckles” and “blue collar” as part of our delusional fantasy that we actually have something in common with the working class) We do this because we love what we do and consider it a privilege to do it. (did we say privilege? we meant to say soul crushing burden) Having a studio trust us to create the print campaign to represent a $150 million movie, or having a video game publisher let us create an entire campaign for a $20 million game is a task that we take very seriously. (you’ll see just how seriously when you get our invoice)
---- was started by three partners who wanted to break away form the established way of “advertising” and all that comes along with it. (like deadlines and unnecessary quotation marks) Every assignment, every challenge, no matter what the size, is treated the same way: an opportunity to do things differently and really break away from the expected in order to reach the consumer. (except, of course, those impossible-to-reach consumers who expect us to break away from the expected and are already expecting the unexpected)
The following pages illustrate our work and include a few case studies to illustrate the effectiveness of the individual campaigns. (we’ve also included a few illustrations to illustrate our illustrative work) We also fully encourage both potential and current clients to visit our shop. The energy that comes from people who love what they do can’t be faked – it’s contagious. (hazmat suits are available in the lobby) We hope you enjoy the work.
They really missed the boat. Where are all the
" Working with us is a real gas" and " Our high octane ideas have get up and go" or "Let us help you get the lead out".
Posted by: Peevish Pixel | Sunday, March 15, 2009 at 05:08 PM
"Pay Before You Pump."
Posted by: Shoes4Industry | Sunday, March 15, 2009 at 05:39 PM
"Increase Your Smileage!"
Posted by: One Sheet To The Wind | Sunday, March 15, 2009 at 06:59 PM
Petrol Advertising..."Running on fumes"
Posted by: MooVeeNut | Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 09:17 AM
jeez, it sounds like junior high, aren't they just trying to make a living like we are?
Posted by: MrPooPants | Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 02:51 PM
os shit i'm buggin. never mind. fuck the world, all shops suck! woo hooo!
Posted by: don deezy von weezy steezy | Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 04:50 PM
Just to be perfectly clear: I came up with "Increase your Smileage!"
I'd also like to submit the additional tag lines:
"More Smiles per Gallon of Petrol" and "Your Smileage May Vary!"
Posted by: One Sheet To The Wind | Tuesday, March 17, 2009 at 06:10 PM
oh :-(
I thought poo was to be flung!
But now it feels like censorship is here as well, just like everywhere else in Hollywood.
Too bad, "Fuel fed the furious!"
Posted by: Been that Done there | Wednesday, March 18, 2009 at 11:56 PM
Like many Americans, you mistake civility for censorship.
One of the most unfortunate aspects of the Internet is its coarseness. All too often what passes for public discourse is merely vile language thrown at high velocity.
We deeply regretted deleting the comments made in regard that agency’s policies, but it was our opinion that they were done with malice and without humor.
We are, in fact, deeply sympathetic to those poor souls who work in sweatshops. We know the model for this environment was established a generation ago by one of the original entertainment advertising agencies. It’s legacy has been continued on by a certain type of menfolk who choose to work insanely long hours as a demonstration of their stamina in a feeble attempt at compensating for their sissified jobs.
We have no axe to grind here other than to make sport of ourselves and this self-important field of work in which we have chosen to devote and/or waste our lives. We wish to do so without resorting to scatology and we encourage those who wish to post comments to make an equal effort.
Posted by: Edwina Trout | Thursday, March 19, 2009 at 10:30 AM
inflammatory comments = proof this is a great shop to work at.
Posted by: don deezy von weezy | Monday, March 23, 2009 at 06:19 PM
where would all of our childhoods have been without the beloved neighborhood sweetshops? penny candy is long gone, but our memories live on!
Posted by: Les Morizless | Tuesday, March 24, 2009 at 10:13 AM