MonKeyArtAwards

A Reader With Too Much Time On Their Hands Submits

Dear Edwina,

Forgive me, but I could not resist combing this with that and getting this:

Hi Ho Everybody!

This is a response to "Happy at Work" who made the following comment in response to our post regarding the print judging of the Key Art Awards:

All the people who write on this blog are whiny failures. Keep posting here because its the only thing you'll ever be successful at. I mean, are you all serious with this venom shit? Is that the point of this pathetic blog? Please someone explain it to me.

Dear Happy At Work,

Seeing that there were Gold Key Art Awards handed out for Theatrical Trailer, Motion Poster, Viral, Motion Graphics, Editing, Music/Licensed Trailer and Music/Original Trailer and yet no piece of actual key art won a Gold Key Art Award at the so-called Key Art Awards, one might assume that while print art directors are not exactly failures, they certainly are not exactly winners either.

As to point of this pathetic blog, it is to provide a forum where anonymous people such as you can post anonymous comments such as yours.

Cordially yours, Edwina Trout

We're All Second Place Winners Here (Except For You Third Place Losers)

40 years ago the Key Art Awards were created to honor outstanding achievement in movie one-sheets. This year the KAA’s esteemed panel of print judges made that category irrelevant.

If you’re like us, you know all too well how competitive, self-absorbed and downright batshit crazy most of your fellow art directors are. Which is why it was such a hare-brained idea to name a “jury of peers” consisting of agency principals then instruct these titans of industry not to vote on their own work.

Puh-lease. This aint the Nobel Prize. They’re posters for movies and tv shows, for chrissake. Get over your bad self. Pick one you like, give it an award and get back to begging clients to acknowledge your invoices. Or better yet, quit this butt-numbing event all together and start one just for print and outdoor.

Oh Look! It’s Whosits And Whatshername!

Click on the image below to see more photos taken at last week's gala Undistinguished Employees Ball.

And The Winner Is... Nothing!

The Key Art Awards are Hollywood's most recognized awards competition for advertising and communications. This year, THR teamed with the Clio Awards to change the judging methods. The five judging panels, made up senior level creatives in each medium, ranked the entries on three levels: gold, silver and bronze. However, each jury was not obligated to award a gold or silver to any work if they felt nothing was worthy of the ranking.

Click here to see a photo gallery  of this most recognized awards competition.

Click here to see a complete list of the winners.

See You Tonight! j/k

On The Road Again

One of our readers sent us this somewhat dated father and son road trip twinset from moviecultists.com. Interesting to us only because that particular one sheet for The Road is not on IMPAwards - which poses the empirical question: did it ever exist at all?

Key Arts And Crafts

A Reader Writes: "Goin' All Erin Brockovich An' Shit"

Dear Edwina, so… over cocktails, an associate said, "You've heard about the class action lawsuit? People who bought Key Art tickets at face value suing to get a refund now that they are giving all the tickets away."

And I do know they are literally giving the tickets away.  They are dumping big blocks of free tickets on various institutions… I've seen 'em!

But is the lawsuit for real?

As much as we’d like to see Julia Roberts sink her teeth into another Oscar®-winning role as a white trash defender of the down-trodden, the idea of a lawsuit seems unlikely, given the lack of vertebrae among vendors in this business. 

Besides, according the Key Art Awards' Events page on Facebook, the headcount stands at: 14 Attending, 4 Not Attending, 5 Maybe Attending and 16 Awaiting Reply!

Stool Pigeon

Dear Edwina, Black splatter = grunge. White splatter (especially with feather in hand) looks like a bird shit all over shakespeare. Signed, Anonymous

Celebrating Achievement In The Entertainment Advertising Arts And Sciences Circa 1986 - 1991

 Click on image to enlarge.

Just Curious... Does The Tony Montana Reference Mean It's Open Carry At The Key Art Awards?

Dear Edwina,

They can't give them away! A great gift idea for your favorite homeless person.

Signed, Ben There

 Click on image to enlarge.

Evolution vs. Intelligent Design

Key Arts and Crafts from 1951, 1982 and 2011:

 Click on image to enlarge.

Tony Blutarsky Writes

I think it's time to take back the Key Art Awards! This thing isn't over! Nothing is over until we decide it is! Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor? Hell, no! It's time to #occupykeyartawards - who's with me?

Career Opportunities

JUNIOR ART DIRECTOR  Stockholm Design is looking for a talented junior art director for a full time position. Experience with both theatrical and home entertainment is a must. Please include:

• Salary requirements

• Portfolio

• Job history and references if available

Email: stockholmposition@gmail.com