MonKeyArtAwards

The Gorillas In Our Midst

If you’re like us, you never cease to be amused at how capriciously the fates can impart potency to any bullying goon or braying jackass in this business.

Not so amusing is having to deal with these demoralizing despots once they assume a position of power... watching an alpha male display his virility as he lumbers around his office, thumping his chest and overturning furniture, or having one of your Fome-Core-mounted comps flung at you at high velocity by a shrieking executrix can dampen even the heartiest spirit.

Which brings us to this perfectly dreadful tale sent in by one of our readers:

Dear Edwina, 

I don’t know if you publish non-fiction, but this is a true story I heard from an AE I worked with at --------. This AE had gone to show some revised comps to a client - a real asshole of a veep at one of the studios. The AE arrives at the office just as the veep’s Big Boss walks in. The Big Boss ignores the AE and the veep’s assistant and storms directly into the veep’s office and proceeds to rip the veep a new one at full volume. 

The Big Boss goes into a screaming blowout - firing a shitload of insults and f-bombs at the veep so loud you can hear it in the outer office. After about 10 minutes of this, the AE realizes there’s no way she can face her client after this semi-public humiliation so she leaves the comps with the assistant, asking her to tell the veep that a messenger dropped them off and she tiptoes out the door. 

The AE goes back to her office and calls the veep and trying to sound all casual, she asks if he received the revisions.

The veep asks why she sent them by messenger instead of bringing them over herself and, before the AE can make up an excuse, the veep starts screaming - firing a shitload of insults and f-bombs at her.

Signed, Trickle Down Theory In Action

From Our Archives

Collect Them All!

Click on image to enlarge. 

These adorable Client Figurines feature an array of the most beloved types of clients you can imagine, including "The Passive Aggressive Psycho" and "The Life-Sucking Twit!" And coming soon: our new “Humiliating Moments” series will depict all sorts of whimsical client-vendor interactions such as "Shameful Degradation", "Endless Revisions" and "I Need You To Cut This Invoice In Half!"

“Simply delightful!” - Client Fancy Magazine

Click on image to enlarge. 

These adorable Client Figurines feature an array of the most beloved types of clients you can imagine, including "The Passive Aggressive Psycho" and "The Life-Sucking Twit!" And coming soon: our new “Humiliating Moments” series will depict all sorts of whimsical client-vendor interactions such as "Shameful Degradation", "Endless Revisions" and "I Need You To Cut This Invoice In Half!"

“Simply delightful!” - Client Fancy Magazine

Account Exec Collectables

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Capture the wistful joy of entertainment advertising with these adorable Account Executive Figurines. Our new “Mortifying Moments” series depicts all sorts of lighthearted client-AE interactions such as "I Need You To Cut This Invoice In Half!" and "Get The Hell Out Of My Office!” 

“Charming and whimsical!” - Client Fancy Magazine

“I’m A Fourteen-Year-Old Girl.”

If you’re like us, you know there's nothing more bloggyful or more streeter than when a marketeer gets down with his bad self. Which is why we nearly swooned while reading The Cobra: Inside A Movie Marketer’s Playbook, The New Yorker’s profile on Lionsgate’s Tim Palen. 

On Newsstands Now!

Choose from our huge selection of two Client Fancy magnets available now at ye olde MonKeyArtAwards Gift Shoppe.

Client Fancy: the magazine that promotes responsible AE debasement.

Fish Don’t Fry in The Kitchen. Beans Don’t Burn on The Grill.

If you’re like us, you have found yourself flummoxed on more than one occasion by what we call The Riddle of The Golden Turd.

Here’s what we mean: an average, run of the mill art director that we know, maybe even someone with whom we worked alongside of in the trenches. (We don’t really work in trenches, but allow us, if you will, a small attempt to make our career choice seem less sissified than it is.) Anyhow, through some fluke or another this art director gets transmogrified into The Client. 

“Oh goody!” says we. “A confrère!” 

Then, after arriving at their freshly painted office to make a presentation, only to have them tear into our concepts the way a grizzly bear rips into the soft underbelly of a salmon, we leave muttering, “What Golden Turd did that hack ever produce to which our work pales in comparison?”

On Newsstands Now!

Collect Them All!

Click image for a larger view. 

These adorable Client Figurines feature an array of the most darling types of clients you can imagine, including "The Passive Aggressive Psycho" and "The Life-Sucking Twit!"

Coming soon: our new “Humiliating Moments” series will depict all sorts of whimsical client-vendor interactions such as "Shameful Degradation" and "Endless Revisions."

“Simply delightful!” - Client Fancy Magazine

Putting the EX in EXEC

There’s only one thing more satisfying than seeing a beloved colleague perp-walked out the door, clutching their pathetic little bankers’ box filled with mementos and stolen Sharpies… and that’s hearing about a unbeloved client getting thrown out on his or hers or someone else’s buttocks.

And if you’re like us, you’ve got a special ho you’d love to see heave-hoed. As Gilbert once said to Sullivan:

I’ve got a little list -- And they’d none of them be missed.

There’s the client who bellows, with enthusiastic tone,

“That was MY idea!” claiming every concept as his own.

And the idiot from the network, who always reeks of Cheez-It;

And who never knows what she wants And doesn't know it when she sees it.

I don’t think they’d be missed - I’m sure they’d not be missed!

Breathtaking, isn't it? Not since Studio 60 has anyone had the audacity to include Gilbert and Sullivan in their debut.