MonKeyArtAwards

Applicants Must Have Adobe Creative Suite Proficiency And A Rebellious, Anti-Social, Self-Centered Indifference To The Welfare Of Others

Here’s a link to Harvard Business Review’s atrociously spiteful article titled Seven Rules for Managing Creative-But-Difficult People.

Our favorite comment: "Good luck trying to get your next book cover designed!! HAHA." 

 

Applicants Must Be Proficient In Whining, Posturing And Despairing

After receiving this link to PayScale’s art director’s salaries from one of our readers, we took it a step further by comparing their job description to psychologist Theodore Millon's description of personality disorders

PayScale: This is a fast-paced, creative position that is most often found in large media organizations and advertising firms.

A person in this role will usually work closely with the Marketing Director or other creative lead.(Millon: Passive–aggressive - Resentful. Deliberately inefficient. Vents anger indirectly by undermining others’ goals.)

 He or she will also work with clients, cultivating and maintaining these important relationships. (Avoidant - Hesitant, anxious. Plagued by constant performance anxiety. Feels alone and empty.)

Persons ion this role should be creative. (Narcissistic - Egotistical, arrogant, insouciant. Sees self as entitled to special treatment.)

 Exhibit a great attention to detail (Obsessive–compulsive - Rigid. Sees self as efficient and productive.)

 Excel at managing and motivating team members. (Histrionic - Dramatic, seductive, shallow. Overreacts to minor events.)

This role should be held by someone who can successfully manage shifting priorities, tight deadlines and last minute requests. (Borderline -  Unpredictable, manipulative, unstable. Experiences rapidly fluctuating moods.)

This is a first shift, full time position and may require long hours, particularly before a deadline. (Depressive - Discouraged. Presents self as abandoned. Feels valueless and impotent.)

Respect

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Now Quit Gawking And Get Back To Work

BuzzFeed has posted photos of 40 Inspiring Workspaces Of The Famously Creative.

Picture at top is Chip Kidd’s desk at Knopf. The one at bottom is Edwina Trout’s desk here in the MonkeyArtAwards executrix suite. And yes, you smg-faced technodouches, that is a Quadra 605 with a 68040 upgrade.

The Monthly Magazine For Professional Fusspots And Design Enthusiasts

A Flatlander Conservative Married Guy With Kids Walks Into A Bar...

Dear Edwina,

I came across the following comment posted on this site Movie Posters Lack Variety These Days. It’s the regular world commenting on us. I have to agree it's true. At least I understand why. I think.

"Several years ago I turned down the high-paying opportunity to work in LA for a major film studio, art-directing "big sheet" posters for new movie products. I was convinced by an old college chum and pro in the LA film business that the culture was alien to a flatlander conservative married guy with kids, that "stars" and their agents have last say on what you do with their image, and the pace of the work allows no forgiveness in delivery schedules, even as the "stars" nix your ideas and you have to start over. Thus, this pastiche of posters represents what Hollywood considers SAFE and marketable. Welcome to the machine."

Goodness! What appears to be a real dustup over art vs. commerce is merely another whiney art director laboring under the delusion that America is just dying to see his brainchild, but that wretched Philistine of a client is standing in the way of him and his public. 

And where is this job where no one nixes your ideas? And how much does it pay? And who says “nix” anymore for cryin’ out loud?!

Recycled Pulp

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The Real Difference Is In The Take-Home Pay

Toxel.com posted this series of what it calls clever illustrations showing the differences between copywriters and art directors."

There’s Always Room For Jell-O... And For One More Agency!

Deadline Hollywood reports:

Patrick Dillon, Seth Phillips Althoff, Brian Setzer, Peter Stark and Luke Silver-Greenberg have created BOND, a new entertainment-marketing agency.

We were uncertain how the fab five were able to show creative done at other agencies on their site until we saw the disclaimer at the bottom:

“The artwork shown on this website was created by Bond team members working at previous companies, in collaboration with others. All artwork is shown only as an example of past work.”

Not a bad idea to copy and paste that line next time some of you creative types jump ship and open up your own shop. And maybe tack on an additional waiver: "Data shown represents past performance, which is not a guarantee of future results."

I Don't Know What I Want And I Won't Know It When I See It

Ireland’s advertising creatives redressed their grievances by creating posters from actual client feedback. 

Click on image to enter site.

Wake Up That Boring Headline With An Eye-Catching, Impossible-To-Read Font!

Be sure to take time out of your busy day (insert appropriate emoticon here) to drop by Lou Brook's Museum of Forgotten Art Supplies

Reminder: Use As Needed

Be Sure To Bill Your Client For The Time You Spend Reading This

We recently received this Scott Timberg article from Salon:  No Sympathy for the Creative Class

“They’re pampered, privileged, indulged – part of the ‘cultural elite.’ They spend all their time smoking pot and sipping absinthe. To use a term that’s acquired currency lately, they’re entitled. And they’re not – after all – real Americans.”

"That's Seriously Not Fair!"

Are You The Sort Of Person Neighbors Describe As “A Real Loner Who Always Keeps To Himself”?

Then a career in the highly-paid, low-stress, self-affirming world of graphic design could be right for you! It’s also helpful if you like to wear a hat and scarf indoors.

One of our readers sent us these helpful insights from Yahoo’s Best Careers For Quiet People:

Career #5 Graphic Designer

If you're content spending many quiet hours working on your art, consider pursuing a career as a graphic designer.

According to the U.S. Department of Labor, as a graphic designer you might create visual concepts to get your client's message across to their target audience. Part of the role might also include developing logos, illustrations, or websites with designs created by hand or with computer programs.

How is it ideal for quiet people? Are you a visual thinker who is more conversant in the world of shapes, patterns, and colors than in words? That can be an asset if you're aiming to be a graphic designer. If you experience the world first and foremost through your eyes, you can make everything you touch a lot more aesthetically pleasing as a graphic designer.

“Close Your Eyes And Picture This: Pantone 167”

Dear Edwina,

I thought you might appreciate this item from McSweeney’s billed as "the world's first and only completely honest resume of a graphic designer."