MonKeyArtAwards

Just Ask Pee Wee Herman

When it comes to inappropriate touching, there is no better place than a movie theatre. At least that’s the thinking behind Hewlett-Packard’s decision to roll out an in-theatre lobby campaign for their new Photosmart web printer.

Where's Joel Wayne When You Need Him?

Really, Warner Bros? Really?!!  

Out of all those comps sent over you went with this? With Rob Lowe? We know the one-sheet doesn't matter to anyone other than the producer and it does almost nothing to open the movie, but come on! The art directors like to hang them on their office walls - so couldn't you at least pretend to give a rat's ass about print?

Click on image to enlarge.

Marketing Weenie Watch

Marketing Weenie Watch: Strong Gusty Winds Likely To Continue

Dear Edwina,

Just got out of a wrist-slashing studio marketing meeting. Why they schedule these things on Friday just confirms my worst sadistic imaginings.

When I entered this business it was about making cool posters. Now it's about robust visual solutions and benchmarking the metrics to incent your audience to become stakeholders. It's about skating to where the puck's going to be. It's about borrowing equity from existing brands to position yourself as a next-generational player. When you drill down to the granular level, it's all really just basic blocking and tackling. Net-net, the value proposition is based on maximizing synergies and being first to market with a leveraged, value-added deliverable to create the opportunity space on a level playing field. Having a result-driven mind-set has to be a strategic fit with your game plan, because at the end of the day, you have to have a vision to monetize scalable supply chains. Bottom line, you have to push the envelope until it's outside the box. Oh, and I have a meeting in 20 minutes so can you bang out something that looks like "The Hangover" because it opened at 43.3.  TICK TOCK. Oh, and my budget is GONE, but I will TOTALLY  catch you up on our "XXXXXXXX" ripoff....

 Sign me "Senior Art Director"  ... or just SAD

Dear SAD,

Our theory is the dominance of marketing weenies came about as our once great nation shifted from an industry-based (making shit) economy to a service-based (making shit up) economy in order to accommodate all that wienerwurst that colleges have been grinding out since the 80s.

E! Answers A Question Only One Person Bothered To Ask

“Why is Johnny Depp and not Christian Bale on those Public Enemies posters all over town?” 

E! exposes the inner secrets of movie marketing here.

Not to worry, Christianphiles. If you’re like us, you’re average Los Angeles driving speed allows you ample time to read the entire billing block on most bus shelter art.

The First Shot Across The Bow

According to Nikki Finke, the president of AEMA, (who also happens to be the leader of the boy band InSync) sent this video to all the trailer companies. 

No mention was made if it was sent out to any clients. 

The Son Also Rises

Both Ad Age and the LA Times have recently run puff pieces on Andy Fogelson’s boy, Adam.

We have no idea what Ad Age’s excuse is, but we’re sure the Times is just blowing smoke up junior’s buttocks in the desperate hopes of getting Universal to run more full page ads.

Shocking Exposé: Disney XD Uses Science to Manipulate America’s Youth!

If you’re like us, after reading today’s New York Times article about anthropologists working for cable channel Disney XD, you’re more than a little creeped out (but not at all surprised) that someone who used to work for the casino industry is now known in Hollywood as "the kid whisperer".

Trimming The Fat And Furious

Looks like Universal didn't need all that dead wood in their marketing department after all. They were expecting "Fast" to open with $30 million.

Studio Marketing Budgets: Don’t Ask. Don’t Tell.

Caving to studio pressure, the Motion Picture Association of America has decided to withhold reporting how much money was spent on marketing movies last year.

Pointing out what an utter waste of time accounting is these days, MPAA Chairman and CEO Dan Glickman admitted, "Year-to-year average costs comparisons are really useless and misleading. I'm not sure what these numbers mean anymore." 

It's rumored that Glickman is rolling over and showing his belly to studio big wigs who feel the MPAA hasn’t done its darndest to lobby for tax breaks for Hollywood in the federal stimulus package.

Fueling even more rumors by denying the rumors, Glickman said, "This is not about us trying to protect ourselves on the lobbying side. There's nothing conspiratorial about this."

That's right, Dorothy. Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain.

It's Easy When You Know How

One of the many high strung creative types we count among our readership sent us this Movie Marketing Survival Handbook, which includes, among other items, a helpful diagram on how to make your own pointy thingy Key Art Award.

While it is our policy here at MonKeyArtAwards make a distinction between those in marketing (who are like racetrack touts: shady characters who offer advice about betting on horses in order to influence the odds) and those in advertising (we fearless jockeys who actually ride the horse to the finish line) we are more than willing to blur the lines in order to present this handbook as a public service.

James Ensor At The Dead Rat Ball

The very same barking mad account exec featured in our previous post was thoughtful enough to cc us on this letter he fired off to the LA Times in regards to Patrick Goldstein’s comment, "It's only fair to give Warners' marketing staff some credit here too…”

Mr. Goldstein,

As a former executive at one of LA's busier entertainment advertising agencies, I can make a strong argument in favor of credit for the campaigns you mention, specifically Four Christmases, belonging to the folks who lost their jobs at the previous "New Line Cinema". I was personally part of a team assigned Four Christmases in late 2007 and saw the delivery of title treatments and sketches to a rudderless marketing department handing out creative direction without a clue as to where or how the Studio wanted to market this property, before I was removed from the project when new, and soon to be fired, executives were brought on board the sinking NLC ship.

While I request anonymity, proof exists that whichever marketing department finalized Four Christmases, their work was pretty much done for them and all they had left to do was waste tens of thousands of dollars in hiring new agencies, demanding more rounds of creative exploration, and, as is the case in 99.99% of marketing campaigns in this business, cover their collective asses.

Sincerely, James Ensor  

And yes, all you poncy art school grads, despite the AE's request for anonymity, we know he is, in fact, that famous Belgian impressionist.

Dead Man Walking

One of the many barking mad account execs we count among our readership asks: 

Dear Edwina, 

Please excuse any lapses into unladylike vocabulary that may follow, but how in the bloody hell is it that after firing a hundred plus people, and going out of business, i.e., being shut the fuck down, New Line Cinema continues to announce projects? 

Like all good AE’s, our reader then followed up the question with an answer contained in this link to Patrick Goldstein's LA Times article.

Now imagine, if you will, the sound we made while reading, "It's only fair to give Warners' marketing staff some credit here too, since they are at their best when someone delivers them good high-concept material, be it a holiday comedy like "Four Christmases," a pre-sold concept like "Sex and the City" or a solid summer programmer like "Journey to the Center of the Earth."

F Upped!

If you’re like us, you thought the teaser for Fired Up was merely another sophisticated campaign aimed at discerning frat boys.

Turns out that the one-sheet is actually Screen Gem’s sly way of saying "FREDERICK UPPED." As in former Warner Bros senior VP of creative advertising Jim Frederick being named executive VP of marketing.

And don’t you just love that name “Screen Gems”? What better handle for a company that brings such gems to the screen as this.

Marketeers Put The X Back In Xmas

We just read in Ad Age that a complaint filed in New York’s State Supreme Court on behalf of survivors of that trampled Wal-Mart worker claims that Wal-Mart "engaged in specific marketing and advertising techniques to specifically attract a large crowd and create an environment of frenzy and mayhem."

Isn’t It Rich? Are We A Pair?

Gerry Rich is ankling his post as Paramount Pix prezdint of worldwide marketing with two years remaining on his contract.

The unpleasantness began when Paramount’s prez John Lesher named Megan Colligan and Josh Greenstein as co-presidents of domestic marketing without consulting Rich on the move.

The above mentioned co-presidents will now assume the position - along with the one vacated by Rich.

Nikki Finke's Deadline Hollywood readers offer up some juicy comments  on the brouhaha.