MonKeyArtAwards

Photoshopping Isn't A Crime. Yet.

Lawmakers in Europe have introduced a bill that would require digitally enhanced images to be labeled with the warning: "Retouched photograph aimed at changing a person's physical appearance." Read more in the NY Times or, for those who prefer the news served snarky side up, here at Gawker.

Click on image to enhance its physical appearance.

The Bottom Twenty

1.  Renegotiating payment after a job is delivered.

2.  Kickbacks.

3.  Representing someone else’s work as your own.

4.  Calling vendors for overnight/emergency/no-charge work after 6pm Friday for delivery by 8am Monday.

5.  Marketing-speak.

6.  The 80-hour workweek.

7.  Phony deadlines.

8.  The use of Photoshop filters as a concept.

9.  Job title inflation.

10. Kickoff meetings.

11. Tantrum addicts.

12. Coercing vendors to attend expensive charity functions.

13. Art directors as clients.

14. Clients as art directors.

15. Burbank.

16. Insultingly low budgets that they swear they’ll make up for on the next job -- forgetting that this IS the next job.

17. The proliferation of character posters.

18. Poncy art school weasels.

19. “Have fun with it!” as creative direction. 

20. The lethal mix of ambition and incompetence.

See You All At Comic-Con!

There's Nothing Wrong With Esther

Kate Ward at EW.com (that's pronounced, "ewwwww!!! dot com") seems to have a problem making a distinction between a headline and tag line. 

As always, the best part is the comments, like this one: "It's a tagline, Kate. Get over it and move on with your life already."

July 10th Is “Freelancers Put On Your Pants” Day

Okay, all you self-unemployed rat bastard freelancers, today's the day to pull a pair of underpants out of the clothes hamper, suit up and check in with Sheila at ASSME, the American Society of Shitcanned Media Elites.

The Two Things

If you're like us, you are a devotee of The Two Things Theory: “For every subject, there are only two things you really need to know. Everything else is the application of those two things, or just not important.” 

For instance, Nicholas Kronos' theory on The Two Things about Creativity: 


1.  God is in the details. 


2.  The devil is in the details. 


 And our own The Two Things about Art Directors:

1. You work for the client.

2. Get over it.

Have You Seen The New Eddie Murphy Trailer?

Advertising In The Great Outdoors

Dear Edwina,

I saw that carefully executed alteration of Ignition’s design tonight and though I'd drop it in the pot.

It's on La Brea and San Vicente.

Being an imported talent, I can't help but remember my history class... isn't it how it all started with Hitler?

Best regards, Imported Talent

Nokia Launches App That Reads Movie Posters

Nokia is rolling out its "Point and Find" app which lets cell phone users take a photo of a movie poster and instantly get film clips, reviews and local theater listings.

The way this whizbang gizmo works, as our IT guy explained to us in that smug, weasly way of his, is it reads bar codes and uses the phone's GPS system to look up the information in an online database.

No word yet on whether it can detect the number of head strips in the key art, which Photoshop filters were used and/or abused or what other one-sheets it most resembles.

If You're Like Us...

MonKeyArtAwards celebrated its first birthday this week, placing us squarely in the crosshairs of those marketing weenies targeting that highly sought after 1-to 2-year-old demographic.

Seen On The Internets

Failblog.org: A lamentable gallery of tragic design fail.

Comment On The Comments

If you’re like us, you like to fly under the under the radar when you’re out here on the World Wide Web.

That’s why here at monKeyArtAwards we allow, in fact, we encourage our readers to post their comments anonymously. We don't require an email address and we certainly don't expect anyone to use their real name.

That being said, let us now turn our attention to the concept below, shall we?

Merry Crewmas

If you’re like us, you're just dying to see what J. Crew’s new offices look like. Well, readers, look no further than right here.

A Christmas Douche

After releasing a slew of straight-to-DVD horror films last spring, Lionsgate rounds out the year with the truly horrific straight-to-DVD release of Thomas Kinkade's Christmas Cottage. What better way to celebrate former Cheetos account exec Michael Rathauser moving upstairs at Lionsgate to senior VP of marketing for home entertainment than with a festive holiday cheeseball.

With Kinkade and his wife Nanette on board as producers, the film’s crew was fortunate to have been blessed with a list of 16 helpful hints on how to create “The Thomas Kinkade Look” on film, or as Vanity Fair Online calls it, “Thomas Kinkade's 16 Guidelines for Making Stuff Suck."

And so many, many, many of the Painter of Light’s tips are applicable for all you art directors and art directresses out there hoping to win one of next year’s coveted pointy thingies. For instance,Number 8: Atmospheric effects. Whenever possible utilize sunset, sunrise, rainy days, mistiness -- any transitory effect of nature that bespeaks luminous coloration or a sense of softness.

Star Wars vs. Saul Bass

Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.

Typocalypse reveals subliminal messages that fonts are feeding you.