Dear Edwina,
How about a post of Classic Client Quotes? My favorites being:
"You have no instinct for this business"
"______, you're a fucking idiot!"
"You're not paid to think"
“Did you take a stupid pill?”
"Can you make it a bluer blue? A lighter, more reflex-y, Navy kind of sky blue?”
“I love it! I fuckin’ love it! But we’ll have to change it.”
http://tinyurl.com/292lppn
Posted by: Bunny Funkhauser | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 09:34 AM
"here's a bad example of what i want..." (why not a good example?)
Posted by: unnamed person | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 10:04 AM
"you have inadvertently captured the spirit of the movie"
Posted by: BitterLemon® | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 10:14 AM
"You're not smart enough to not know what you don't know!"
Posted by: Truth to that | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 12:03 PM
"just throw all those comps in the trash"
Posted by: redo | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 12:51 PM
"Don't show me anything I don't want to see!"
Posted by: The Screaming Art Director | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 01:36 PM
"I only want to pay for the good comps."
Posted by: Moe Zart | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 01:36 PM
"Every time you press that 'copy' button, it costs me a dime!"
Posted by: Thank You for Your Usual Cooperation | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 02:21 PM
"I need those revisions on my desk 9am, Monday." (typically spoken at 6pm, Friday)
Posted by: Nerf Ball | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 04:01 PM
"Why didn't you show me this one first?"
Posted by: Duralene Jones | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 04:07 PM
"The director has an idea for the onesheet he'd like you to try."
Posted by: Chop Stick | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 04:46 PM
"YOU ARE THE ONLY AGENCY WORKING ON THIS PROJECT. YOU'LL GET THE FINISH."
Posted by: Fo Real | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 05:14 PM
"I'll make it up to you on the next job."
Posted by: Pants On Fire | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 05:19 PM
"Just let it go. Nobody's gonna notice."
Posted by: Yeah, right | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 05:26 PM
"I want out of the box idea, fresh and high end. Something nobody has done before"
Posted by: Isn't that true? | Wednesday, February 09, 2011 at 09:36 PM
not to rain on the parade but um, isn't that why they hire US!I, for one, am grateful they "don't know what they want" otherwise they'd all be disney and whoever else wants to go "in-house"
always grateful for the need for an exploration.
Posted by: agratefulvendor | Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 12:17 AM
Uh. right, Gratefulvendor, but the second part of that quote is "...and I won't know it when I see it."
Posted by: Peggy Olson | Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 07:50 AM
"Hey, watch it with the teeth already!"
Posted by: Acct Exec | Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 09:25 AM
as Michelangelo's great patron Lorenzo de Medici commanded his retinue... "make the tits bigger"
Posted by: You Nanimouse | Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 10:46 AM
From the AV side " Make it faster, but last longer"
Posted by: done it | Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 12:06 PM
"Can you turn his head a little more to the side?"
"no, it's a flat photo."
"Yea, I know that, but can you turn it more to the side?"
Posted by: Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Murry | Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 01:23 PM
"Just take the eyes from this head and place them on this face."
Posted by: Sometimes it works / sometimes a Photoshop Disaster | Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 03:12 PM
It should Fast and the Furious meets Godsford Park
Posted by: It puts the lotion on it's skin | Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 04:07 PM
"You know what to do ... "
Posted by: Pluto Nash | Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 05:22 PM
I know who said that one, but you forgot to add, "What do you mean a photo, It's in the computer."
Can you turn his head a little more to the side?"
"no, it's a flat photo."
"Yea, I know that, but can you turn it more to the side?"
Posted by: Been in this business too long | Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 06:26 PM
http://tinyurl.com/yadcvhs
Posted by: True Dat | Thursday, February 10, 2011 at 07:39 PM
A scientific explanation on why clients are stupid.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning%E2%80%93Kruger_effect
Posted by: Art Monkey | Friday, February 11, 2011 at 02:09 PM
Also known as "Shutt-Jones Syndrome".
Posted by: Lookitup | Friday, February 11, 2011 at 06:06 PM
It's like someone left a recorder on during a Lori Drazen meeting.
Posted by: IdeaGuy | Saturday, February 12, 2011 at 06:02 PM
Art Monkey, you have shed SO much light upon our frustrations. I forwarded that to as many people as possible! (no sarcasm here btw). Thank you for giving me a term to put to all of this...
Posted by: EAT YO PIXELS | Saturday, February 12, 2011 at 09:33 PM
LOL @ Idea Guy. That is fantastic. BTW, I was an Idea Guy too so I get it big time.
Posted by: Dobie G | Sunday, February 13, 2011 at 10:10 PM
"Nope I won't go see that movie"
Posted by: Livermore | Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 11:35 AM
I wanna start a agency called Dunning–Kruger
Posted by: lesslife | Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 11:39 AM
EMAIL - FRIDAY AFTERNOON
Client:
"Can you let me know when I expect to see some more designs? They are very anxious to see something and I desperately need to get designs to the programmers."
Creative Director:
"New designs: early next week."
Client:
"early next week is too late. I needed to be able to show something yesterday and couldn't. I thought, since I gave you feedback first thing yesterday that I would be able to show something today."
Posted by: counterclockwise | Wednesday, February 16, 2011 at 04:21 PM
"every vendor in town sucks! well uh, except you suck the least."
Posted by: SayWhat?! | Tuesday, February 22, 2011 at 10:54 PM