MonKeyArtAwards

Another Steaming Load Of Horseshit Passing Itself Off As A Scientific Study

This from Artnet: According to a recent study, artists may have increased neural matter in areas of the brain that are linked to fine motor skills and visual imagery. 

Rebecca Chamberlain, who helped author the report for NeuroImage, claims that “The people who are better at drawing really seem to have more developed structures in regions of the brain that control for fine motor performance and what we call procedural memory.”

[When] the brains of 21 art students were compared to 23 non-artists… the artist group had a larger mass of gray matter in the parietal lobe’s precuneus area. According to Chamberlain, “this region is involved in a range of functions but potentially in things that could be linked to creativity, like visual imagery—being able to manipulate visual images in your brain, combine them and deconstruct them.”

Not to mentionthe ability to copy and paste images and claim them as your own.

Applicants Must Have Adobe Creative Suite Proficiency And A Rebellious, Anti-Social, Self-Centered Indifference To The Welfare Of Others

Here’s a link to Harvard Business Review’s atrociously spiteful article titled Seven Rules for Managing Creative-But-Difficult People.

Our favorite comment: "Good luck trying to get your next book cover designed!! HAHA." 

 

Applicants Must Be Proficient In Whining, Posturing And Despairing

After receiving this link to PayScale’s art director’s salaries from one of our readers, we took it a step further by comparing their job description to psychologist Theodore Millon's description of personality disorders

PayScale: This is a fast-paced, creative position that is most often found in large media organizations and advertising firms.

A person in this role will usually work closely with the Marketing Director or other creative lead.(Millon: Passive–aggressive - Resentful. Deliberately inefficient. Vents anger indirectly by undermining others’ goals.)

 He or she will also work with clients, cultivating and maintaining these important relationships. (Avoidant - Hesitant, anxious. Plagued by constant performance anxiety. Feels alone and empty.)

Persons ion this role should be creative. (Narcissistic - Egotistical, arrogant, insouciant. Sees self as entitled to special treatment.)

 Exhibit a great attention to detail (Obsessive–compulsive - Rigid. Sees self as efficient and productive.)

 Excel at managing and motivating team members. (Histrionic - Dramatic, seductive, shallow. Overreacts to minor events.)

This role should be held by someone who can successfully manage shifting priorities, tight deadlines and last minute requests. (Borderline -  Unpredictable, manipulative, unstable. Experiences rapidly fluctuating moods.)

This is a first shift, full time position and may require long hours, particularly before a deadline. (Depressive - Discouraged. Presents self as abandoned. Feels valueless and impotent.)

Respect

Click on image to enlarge.

Now Quit Gawking And Get Back To Work

BuzzFeed has posted photos of 40 Inspiring Workspaces Of The Famously Creative.

Picture at top is Chip Kidd’s desk at Knopf. The one at bottom is Edwina Trout’s desk here in the MonkeyArtAwards executrix suite. And yes, you smg-faced technodouches, that is a Quadra 605 with a 68040 upgrade.

The Monthly Magazine For Professional Fusspots And Design Enthusiasts

A Flatlander Conservative Married Guy With Kids Walks Into A Bar...

Dear Edwina,

I came across the following comment posted on this site Movie Posters Lack Variety These Days. It’s the regular world commenting on us. I have to agree it's true. At least I understand why. I think.

"Several years ago I turned down the high-paying opportunity to work in LA for a major film studio, art-directing "big sheet" posters for new movie products. I was convinced by an old college chum and pro in the LA film business that the culture was alien to a flatlander conservative married guy with kids, that "stars" and their agents have last say on what you do with their image, and the pace of the work allows no forgiveness in delivery schedules, even as the "stars" nix your ideas and you have to start over. Thus, this pastiche of posters represents what Hollywood considers SAFE and marketable. Welcome to the machine."

Goodness! What appears to be a real dustup over art vs. commerce is merely another whiney art director laboring under the delusion that America is just dying to see his brainchild, but that wretched Philistine of a client is standing in the way of him and his public. 

And where is this job where no one nixes your ideas? And how much does it pay? And who says “nix” anymore for cryin’ out loud?!

Recycled Pulp

 Click on images to enlarge.

The Real Difference Is In The Take-Home Pay

Toxel.com posted this series of what it calls clever illustrations showing the differences between copywriters and art directors."

There’s Always Room For Jell-O... And For One More Agency!

Deadline Hollywood reports:

Patrick Dillon, Seth Phillips Althoff, Brian Setzer, Peter Stark and Luke Silver-Greenberg have created BOND, a new entertainment-marketing agency.

We were uncertain how the fab five were able to show creative done at other agencies on their site until we saw the disclaimer at the bottom:

“The artwork shown on this website was created by Bond team members working at previous companies, in collaboration with others. All artwork is shown only as an example of past work.”

Not a bad idea to copy and paste that line next time some of you creative types jump ship and open up your own shop. And maybe tack on an additional waiver: "Data shown represents past performance, which is not a guarantee of future results."

I Don't Know What I Want And I Won't Know It When I See It

Ireland’s advertising creatives redressed their grievances by creating posters from actual client feedback. 

Click on image to enter site.

Wake Up That Boring Headline With An Eye-Catching, Impossible-To-Read Font!

Be sure to take time out of your busy day (insert appropriate emoticon here) to drop by Lou Brook's Museum of Forgotten Art Supplies